History Bros is back after yet another long break! I took it
upon myself to search for the best wings in the country, and guess what,
they’re at Hooters. Hooters: where
groping, Florida and 1991 converge! Hooters. Fun fact: I once had the New
England clam chowder at a Hooters in Colorado Springs in 2005. Hooters…people eat soup there. Hooters! Now
that that’s out of the way, let’s welcome back a friend of the show – but enemy
of the people – Benito Mussolini. We’ll talk about fascism, Rogaine and tea.
1991!
HB: B! Nice to see you again. Please, indulge in the Bigelow in front of
you.
BM: No, grazie.
HB: Nito, if you don’t drink it, the bit doesn’t work.
BM: Espresso?
HB: Take a fucking sip!
BM: Fine!
HB: And…tea with Mussolini!
HB: Can I have the
mug back? We only have three working
mugs. Nito, why still the fascism?
BM: I like to wear black.
That, and the hat.
HB: Fair enough.
Fascism for fashion. I get it.
BM: You always wear that stickball hat.
HB: Baseball cap…but yeah, I do. It’s because I’m bald.
BM: Ha!
HB: And you forgot you are, too?
BM: Aw.
HB: What did you think you were gonna get out of that, you
bully? Give me that mug back…
BM: 83 percent! 83 percent of men retain or regrow hair!
Rogaine lied to me, and now I will crush them!
HB: B, it’s just for the crown – they don’t take into
account male pattern baldness. You can’t keep “crushing” people because of your
own insecurities.
BM: But they disappoint, d—
HB: Are you crying?
BM: I have gelato in my eye!
HB: You’re so weird.
A first on History Bros: dictator crying!
HB: Hey, buddy. You want some soup?
BM: Yes.
HB: Ok, I know a great place that sells soup AND nostalgia!
BM: I like living in the past.
HB: I know you do, B. You like boobies and stickball, yeah?
BM: Yeah.
HB: Hooters! Nito, you can be my creepy uncle who says
racist shit at a Hooters at three in the afternoon.
BM: I’d like that.
HB: I know you would. Bye!
