Today’s episode of History Bros is brought to you by
pedometers. Hey Baby Boomer Moms and
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Speaking of pedometers, our guest had to walk everywhere in
ancient Rome. No cars! Huh!? Cato, famed orator, politician and critic of Julius
“Hot Salad” Caesar, is here today.
HB: Cato the Elder, so glad to have you!
C: The younger…
HB: I’m so sorry.
C: It’s ok. I’m closing in on 50.
HB: You look fantastic!
C: It’s all that walking!
HB: So, no cars at all?
C: No, nothing!
HB: That’s nuts!
HB: Oh, I wanted to ask you this: did OJ do it?
C: Yes.
HB: Cool. 1995.
HB: Cato, you despised Julius Caesar so much that you
committed suicide in response to his growing power. A little dramatic?
C: Yeah, in hindsight it was dramatic. I even did a terrible
job at it.
HB: No, don’t tell me…
C: I did! I fell off my bed with my entrails halfway out of
my abdomen. What a klutz!
HB: Ohhhh, that’s so embarrassing!
C: And then my Greek eunuch slave/cook comes in with 20
banana cream pies, slips on my entrails and the pies fall all over my shocked
family!
HB: Butterfingers!
C: I didn’t know if it was because of my entrails or the 20
banana cream pies that my family was so shocked! But, yeah, then I died.
HB: You’re a funny man Cato.
C: Caesar, of course, gets assassinated in the most severe
way possible. No slapstick, no humor.
HB: I don’t respect a man like that.
C: At least do a double take toward Brutus.
HB: Yeah, like wide-eyed: “You, huh?” “Oh hell nurrrr!”
HB: And we’ll close with a question I like to ask my guests:
last movie watched?
C: Big Momma’s House 2
HB: Good man.
C: Oh, what, what!? My hand’s in your paper shredder!
HB: Cato!
