Starbucks and the Spanish Civil War

Myth:  From 1936 to 1939, the Spanish Civil War pitted left-leaning communist and anarchist Republicans (those in favor of a liberal democracy and/or communist regime) against Francisco Franco and his band of fascist Spanish generals, often referred to as the Nationalists.  In short, the Republicans ultimately lost due to thinning numbers and the loss of support from sympathetic foreign territories, most notably the Soviet Union.  Conversely, the Nationalists garnered the tacit support of the newly formed Axis powers, including Hitler and Mussolini, and a growing number of supporters as their foes slowly dwindled in the face of combat, ultimately surrendering on April 1, 1939.  An estimated half of a million people perished during this bloody conflict – a conflict that ended with Franco as dictator of Spain until his death in 1975.

Fact:  This seems to be a ubiquitous theme in my blogs, but once again, historians have completely convoluted a rather simplistic and true explanation for the Republican loss in favor of a more complex interpretation.  They have to look no further than a basic human interaction:  Jock versus Nerd.  Franco and his cronies were all classic, bull-fighting scholarship holders during their University years – given easy A’s so they could uphold the championship bull-fighting dynasty at the University of Madrid – and because of such connections were able to climb the military hierarchy in quick fashion.  To solidify my point, I turn to the common known fact that Franco created the high-five and butt slap during a bull-fighting match against the University of Barcelona.  The Republicans, in a sense, lost the war not due to casualties of war, but rather due to casualties of hipsterness.  The armies were spread thin due to the majority of Republicans discussing Marx, Engels, Nietzsche and Hegel at local shops as their less nerdy/hipster counterparts had to retreat on the battlefield.  The soy latte had trumped the bayonet.  If this weren’t bad enough, a slew of Republicans deserted their militias as most had to hide in the wilderness and utilize guerilla warfare on their Fascist enemies.  Most did not want to live off the land and eat any form of game meat; they were vegan.  Veganism had trumped the element of surprise.  One anecdote seems to aptly sum up the experiences of the Spanish Civil War:  A Republican soldier came upon a fallen comrade in the woods outside of Madrid.  He looked in his friend’s pocket to find a skinned rabbit.  Shocked at the sight, the soldier asked his dying friend ‘Why have you done this – you have betrayed the cause?’”  No response was forthcoming as the comrade exhaled is last breath and passed away.  The rabbit was buried, but his comrade lay out in the open, rotting in the sun.  At about the same time, Franco was performing an “air hump” as he had just slain some twenty unsuspecting Republicans planting Swiss chard at a local Madrid co-op.

*Special thanks to Sara Marañón for being Spanish...and her academic advice.